Try a written agreement first. If you are divorcing, ask the family court. If not, a civil suit such as replevin may be the route. Police rarely decide ownership.
Your options, from cheapest to hardest
You have three main routes: reach a written agreement with your ex, ask the family court if you are divorcing, or file a civil suit to recover the dog if you were never married. If you are in danger, or your ex threatened to hurt the dog, call 911 and read the section on protective orders below. This is general information, not legal advice. In most states the law still treats a dog as property, so the question a court asks may be who owns it, not who loves it most. Some states have changed that in divorce, and the rules differ a lot. Write down what happened and when, and collect your papers. Do not go and take the dog back in a heated moment, since that can put you or the dog in danger.
Gather your proof first
Ownership usually comes down to paper, so build a folder today. Include the adoption contract or bill of sale, vet records, license, microchip record, receipts for food, grooming and training, and photos across the years. Add any texts about who owns the dog. The Animal Legal and Historical Center says that a pet owned before the relationship generally stays with that owner, and that pets acquired during a relationship usually go to the person who can prove ownership, often with vet, food and grooming receipts. A gift can change the picture.
Try for an agreement in writing
A signed agreement is faster and cheaper than court. Send a calm message: I would like to agree on where Rex lives. I am proposing he stay with me, and you can see him on Saturdays. Please reply by Friday. Put in who keeps the dog, who pays vet bills and what happens if someone moves. A mediator can help. Shared schedules can be hard to enforce. In Hament v. Baker, the Vermont Supreme Court said there was no legislative authority for courts to supervise shared care of an animal, and some other courts have refused to enforce such deals. A New Jersey case, Houseman v. Dare, went the other way on a promise, enforcing a boyfriend’s verbal promise that his girlfriend would keep the dog. So a clear written deal helps, but it is not a guarantee.
If you are divorcing or separating
Some states let family courts look past pure property rules. California Family Code 2605 lets the court, at a party’s request, order one spouse to care for a pet before ownership is decided, and assign sole or joint ownership considering the pet’s care. It covers pets that are community property. Illinois law at 750 ILCS 5/501(f) lets either spouse ask for temporary possession of a jointly owned companion animal, and 5/503(n) tells the court to consider the animal’s well-being when it allocates ownership of one that is a marital asset. Alaska Statute 25.24.160(a)(5) lets a divorce judgment provide for ownership or joint ownership, taking into consideration the animal’s well-being. A 2026 summary from the National Link Coalition also lists Delaware, the District of Columbia, Maine, New Hampshire, New York and Rhode Island. That list warns that the law keeps changing, so confirm the current text, and raise the dog with your lawyer at the start.
Elsewhere in a divorce
In states without such a law, a court generally divides a dog as property. Who paid for it, and when, can carry more weight than who walked it. Some judges still look wider. In Travis v. Murray, a New York trial court in 2013, before New York changed its law, used a best for all concerned standard in a dispute over a dachshund. Do not assume your state has a statute, or that it does not. Ask a family lawyer, and ask legal aid if your income is low.
If you were never married
Family court pet laws are written for divorce, so an unmarried couple usually has a property dispute. The usual tool is a civil suit to get the specific item back, called replevin or claim and delivery in many states. North Shore Animal League America’s legal column describes that as an option for an animal wrongly withheld, and recommends a lawyer. If you are co-owners, courts may look at how you shared the dog. In Moore v. Knower, a Louisiana court found a couple co-owned a dog and had alternated weekly, and one party could not end that alone. In Mitchell v. Snider, a New York court gave one partner the dog using the same best for all concerned test. Before filing, ask the court clerk whether small claims there can order a dog returned, or only award money.
Calling the police
Call if there is a threat, a break-in or harm to the dog. Otherwise, expect limits. Animal League’s column says the police usually do not get involved in ownership disputes. If you call the non-emergency line, keep it factual: I own this dog, here is my adoption paper, and it was taken from my home on June 2 without my consent. Ask for a report number, since it gives you a dated record. If an officer calls it a civil matter, thank them and go to the court route. If you suspect cruelty, call animal control.
Protective orders and pets
If your ex is abusive, a court order may cover the dog as well as you. In California, Family Code 6320 lets a court, on a showing of good cause, give the petitioner exclusive care, possession or control of an animal, and order the other person to stay away from it. In Illinois, 750 ILCS 60/214 lets a court grant exclusive care, custody or control of an animal in an order of protection. Tell the court clerk or a domestic violence advocate that you want the dog included. Other states may have similar rules, so ask where you live. Do not stay in danger for the sake of the dog. An advocate can talk through where the dog can go.
Sources
National Link Coalition, Divorce Custody Laws by State, 2026: nationallinkcoalition.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/Divorce-Custody-Laws-Summary-by-State-2026-5.pdf. California Family Code 2605: codes.findlaw.com/ca/family-code/fam-sect-2605. California Family Code 6320: codes.findlaw.com/ca/family-code/fam-sect-6320. 750 ILCS 5/501: codes.findlaw.com/il/chapter-750-families/il-st-sect-750-5-501. 750 ILCS 5/503: codes.findlaw.com/il/chapter-750-families/il-st-sect-750-5-503. 750 ILCS 60/214: codes.findlaw.com/il/chapter-750-families/il-st-sect-750-60-214. Animal Legal and Historical Center: animallaw.info/intro/pet-custody-during-divorce and animallaw.info/article/detailed-discussion-divorce-and-pets. North Shore Animal League America: animalleague.org/?p=196414 and animalleague.org/?p=160901.